Three Ways to Not Hate Your Husband

Any ladies reading this— please learn from this wise woman. If this had happened in my marriage, I would still be married this day.

here + now

I think the churchy side of the camp says I’m supposed to tell you marriage is great. It’s pretty, and passionate, and playful. Your husband is your leader, woman. You must submit, woman. You must dote, woman.

I think the American side of the camp says I’m supposed to tell you marriage is a joke. It’s petty, and pitiful, and perishable. Your husband is a dimwit, woman. You must be stronger, woman. You must laugh at him, woman.

I’ve rolled out my sleeping bag on both sides in my short six years of experience. It’s like you might be able to wiggle your way into a comfortable spot, but when your shoulder goes numb and you try to turn over, you roll onto sharp rocks and twigs and godknowswhatelse and you let out a string of curse words that would make a sailor blush. Not that I would know. (I do…

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2 thoughts on “Three Ways to Not Hate Your Husband

  1. I’m opening the “comment party” on this one, because it seems I can’t leave it be until I say something.
    As I stated above in the opening, before the re-blog, if what this woman has done for her husband had been done in my marriage, I would still be married to this day. Instead, in the last months all I heard was that I was evil, deceitful, extremely selfish, a hypocrite and other things which shouldn’t be mentioned here. Finally, on March 4, 2009 I was practically driven out of our apartment and had to ask my sister for shelter, cold winters in Chicago being what they are. November of that year, the divorce became final. Now, I had done nothing wrong– no cheating, no abuse, none of the stuff that should have brought this about.

    Now, as it happens I have occasion to see what others write. I can’t tell you how many times I read of one spouse– 9 times out of 10 it’s the wife– falling out of love, and from that time there is absolutely NOTHING the husband can do to make things right and restore the marriage. Her bitterness towards him knows no bounds and the divorce is as inevitable as tomorrow’s sunrise. Occasionally it’s the other way– the husband becomes intractable and the wife can’t do anything except watch the marriage collapse in spite of her best efforts– but from what I’ve been reading I go with the 9 out of 10 figure stated above.

    In any case, when one partner to the marriage turns off the love and refuses to be reconciled, the marriage is toast from that moment. There is nothing the other partner can do, since everything he/she does will always be wrong in some way.

    Think it can’t get bad? Consider that last night, I slept in the van, in a rest-stop parking lot somewhere in Ohio. Last night it was because I was 300 miles from home and it was obvious that I either had to pull over and get some rest or somebody– namely me– was gonna be in a world of hurt. Sleeping in that van last night was so much superior to the last weeks in that apartment that it’s not even funny. Even more so than the night I had to sleep in the van– at that time a Sprinter– in February of ’09 because she had driven me out. Uh– just so’s you know, a Sprinter will not keep heat up at idle on a winter night. That diesel engine drops heat like crazy, even when running at idle. So— you freeze while trying to sleep in the thing. At least last night wasn’t too bad.

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